No one knows what state of mind she was in to rationalize what she did and no one can ever make it sound like it was the right thing for her to do. So...ehow she felt she could have her marriage and her boyfriend all that the same time and nothing would be wrong. I know that sounds foolish but that is what she did.”“So now what do I do? She lied to me for at least thirteen years, maybe longer if I include our dating and engagement.”“What do you want to do?”“I don’t know. Right now I am not. No one can hear us, no one can see us. No one even knows that we are here. It's just me and you and a bed with red silk sheets and incredibly soft pillows. No TV or computers to distract us with their white noise. No neighbors to knock on our door, asking us to quiet down. We can be as loud as we want tonight. We can let the sounds of our love rock the very foundations of the room we are in. No videos, no toys, no clothes; just a bed, sheets, pillows, you, and me...I kiss you hard on your lips,. Out of habithe checked all of the readouts and once he was satisfied that everythingwas as it ought to be he set a forwarding notice from the conversionchamber computer to alert the Conn and and to alert him in his cabin toany changes. He turned around and sealed the door behind him. There wassomething else he needed to do now that this part of his plan was done.He might have deviated from the plan that the three of them had decidedon, but he was still on. Once I'm there I peel off the false trappings of masculinity. I stand naked in front of a mirror. I wouldn't say I was fit. But I wasn't really fat either. The best descriptor would be slim. I must stand there for about half an hour, depression rising. "This isn't me. It just isn't."My eyes start to mist as I take a final look at masculine me. A sheet from my bed soon obscures it. I pad into the hallway. My hand scrambles across the top of the door until my slender fingers stumble into the key.
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